SMOKINCHOICES (and other musings)

August 14, 2014

Leg-up w/Non-verbal clues

Micro-expressions unlock minds of others

By Pamela Eyring REUTERS

Imagine sitting across a table from your boss or a potential client and being able to know what the person is thinking without a word from him or her.  Such a reality, it turns out, isn’t as far-fetched as you might think.

“Being able to perceive and correctly interpret micro-expressions is one of the best ways to boost your success, credibility and confidence in the workplace,” said Janine Driver, president of the Body Language Institute  in Washington.   “The trick is being able to spot micro-expressions and recognize them for what they are.”

Fleeting and involuntary facial expressions convey how a person feels even when making an effort to suppress emotions.
Micro-expressions seemingly reveal the “hidden truth” of feelings.

Yet it’s important not to assume that every micro-expression is about you or what you’re presenting, Driver said.
Some particularly informative micro-expressions include:

• Squint: It’s human instinct to block anything undesirable by squinting. When someone squints while reading a contract, or an employee does the same while reading a performance review, it’s an indicator that he disagrees or dislikes something he is seeing.

• Brow read: The position of an individual’s eyebrows is a good indicator of his level of confidence with a given situation. The higher the brows, the higher the confidence.

• Disappearing lips: When stressed, anxious or responding negatively to a situation, people tend to press their lips together and draw them in. The response typically happens at the precise moment of the negative response.

• Pucker: Puckered or pursed lips are a good indicator that an individual disagrees with what’s being said or presented. If you see a lip purse during a sales pitch, for example, try a new angle.
Learning to read micro-expressions isn’t difficult but requires you to pay close attention to what is, and isn’t, being said.

(My Comment:  

This is not the first time I’ve heard about “non-verbal communication,”  Is is a valid science so I tracked down online this  Body Language Institute in Washington being spoken of here in this piece by Janine Driver,  the president of the company.   But I was met with a rather well-done promotional  piece full of everything but more information..   .    .    so back to Google and further search.  

I knew this was big in many circles and based on proper investigation and study.  Bingo, .   .   .   found what I was looking for, and want to share this with you.  (I’m almost always at odds with my wish lists as my social security has all it can do just paying for all the supplements I take and as much organic food as  I prefer. . so little left over for ‘not really needed’ wants – like this for example.  It’s Okay, keeps me sharper as I seek to maximize  value for as little as possible.  How about FREE, and put together and run by doctors?  Works for me.  

But why, what is my thinking here?   I see  a wide cross section of what’s going on in our land and the varying difficulties people are enduring.  One word covers this pretty well — STRESS.  And uncontrolled, it takes over our lives and can almost ruin them.  We can imagine injury where there is none.  We can miss many clues given freely by others – – quite unknowingly,  that might help us see things clearer or truer.

For at  least 3/4 quarters of my life, I’ve known that the mind can perceive things differently when it is fraught with stress,  you know – have let our emotions cloud our judgement.  That can hold us back in every way;  our personal relationships,  our work environment or even our attempts to HAVE  a work environment.  And importantly, our relationship with our self.  If we were to take personally all the “life-pressing-in-on-us stuff”  that is coming at us day in, day out, we can erroneously start loosing faith in ourselves ending up in self-judgement and self-deprecation which can only erode further, our chance of a balanced life, or a happy one.  For if we can’t love and accept ourselves. . . . .  . who is going to?      Do some house-cleaning; get rid of guilt, critical carping,  fault-finding of self and others,  for these are all “Joy Killers”.  

Back to our subject at hand,  It is easy to see how this great tool of non-verbal communication could really enrich our lives (in many ways).  To be able to be spot-on with what is happening around us would be quite an advantage.    This site I have found is so well done that I am frankly amazed.    It is complete with down-loadable guides, menus and videos.  I started yesterday, dl’g, reading and watching videos.  Eager to get back to it.  It’s big, won’t happen over-night or in a cursory reading.  It’s full-on training.  So here you go:  Jan)

 

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